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  • Part 2: The Quiet Gap Between Knowing and Doing Coaching

Most Leaders say coaching is important.
Many HR and L&D teams include coaching in their competency frameworks.
And almost every organisation talks about wanting a coaching culture.

But when you look at the daily reality, something else shows up.
Most Leaders still struggle to coach consistently.

This is the quiet gap nobody wants to talk about.
A gap between knowing coaching and actually doing coaching.

Why does this happen, especially in Asia where people development is highly valued on paper but difficult to practise in real life?

Let’s look at this honestly and with real data.

Leaders Believe in Coaching, but Practice Is Still Weak

The 2023 ICF Global Coaching Study reported that coach practitioners worldwide had an average of 12.2 active clients, reflecting ongoing demand for coaching

But believing in coaching and practising coaching are two different things.

Gartner research found that 45% of managers lack confidence to help employees develop needed skills, and only around 9% spend their time developing their people.

This gap between intention and behaviour is real.
Leaders know coaching matters.
Yet they do not do it enough, and when they try, it does not always land well.

So what is really going on?

Coaching Sounds Simple, but It Is Emotionally Hard

Most Leaders know the coaching questions.
They know the steps.
They know the models.
So knowledge is not the problem.

The struggle is emotional.

Coaching requires Leaders to:

  • slow down
  • listen without interrupting
  • ask deeper questions
  • sit with silence
  • allow the other person to think
  • resist the urge to give answers
  • accept the discomfort of not controlling the conversation

These are not technical skills.
These are emotional behaviours.

And in Asia, this becomes even harder.

Hierarchy, face-saving, time pressure, fast decision making and fear of appearing unsure all make coaching feel risky and uncomfortable.

Many Leaders prefer to “just tell them what to do” because it feels faster and safer.
But fast does not mean effective.
And safe does not mean growth.

Time Is Not the Only Issue

Most Leaders say they have no time to coach.
But research suggests something deeper.

Gallup highlights a common organisational reality: many managers believe they coach well, but far fewer employees agree.

This is not a time problem.
It is a perception gap.
A confidence gap.
A clarity gap.

Leaders hesitate to coach because:

  • they are afraid of saying the wrong thing
  • they feel pressured to always have the answer
  • they do not want to create conflict
  • they are unsure how to coach someone older or more experienced
  • they can't mentally slow down
  • they are not clear what “effective coaching” really looks like

So coaching becomes something they support, but rarely practise.

Why This Matters for Business

When coaching does not happen, performance gaps quietly grow.

A study published in the Journal of Selling found that effective coaching by Sales Managers improves adaptive selling behaviour, which leads to stronger sales results.

And the Human Capital Institute (HCI) reports that organisations with strong coaching cultures enjoy higher employee engagement rates.

So the value of coaching is not in question.
The question is why it is so difficult to do consistently.

The Real Reason Coaching Doesn’t Happen Consistently

After working with Leaders across Asia, one truth keeps appearing:
Leaders understand coaching with their mind, but they do not feel comfortable coaching with their emotions.

Coaching requires courage more than technique:The courage to slow down.
The courage to hear uncomfortable answers.
The courage to ask questions instead of giving instructions.
The courage to let people think, even if it feels slow.
The courage to admit you don’t know everything.
The courage to build people, not just manage tasks.

Coaching is easy to understand.
But difficult to practise.
Not because Leaders don’t care, but because coaching challenges the emotional habits they rely on every day.

Conclusion

Coaching will always be part of modern leadership.
But it will never become real unless Leaders feel confident and safe enough to do it consistently.

This gap between knowing and doing is where most organisations struggle.
And this is where the biggest growth opportunity lies.

If Leaders can close this gap, performance grows.
If they can't, the business keeps moving, but people don’t grow with it.

And that becomes the real cost.

About the Author

Simon is the ICF-Professional Certified Coach (PCC), Certified Trainer, Facilitator, Coach Trainer, and Food Service Specialist. He specialises in business selling, leadership development, and coaching culture building.

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