Lesson 5: Avoiding Conflict

What You Might Be Tempted To Ignore

As your team starts to take on more responsibility, differences in opinion, working styles, or expectations will surface. That’s normal. But how you respond makes all the difference. One of the most common mistakes new managers make is avoiding conflict altogether.

The Mistake: Hoping It Will Sort Itself Out

No one enjoys difficult conversations. It might feel easier to wait, stay quiet, or tell yourself it’s not a big deal. But when you let issues linger:

Misunderstandings grow
Tension builds under the surface
Team morale slowly drops

Conflict that isn’t addressed doesn’t disappear. It shows up in other ways like missed deadlines, side conversations, or people disengaging.

The Fix: Address It Early and Calmly

You don’t need to be confrontational. You just need to be honest, clear, and respectful. Your team looks to you to create a space where people can speak up, sort things out, and move forward.

Here’s what helps:

Don’t wait. The sooner you address a tension, the easier it is to resolve.
Stick to facts and observations, not assumptions or emotions.
Focus on finding a way forward, not pointing fingers

You’re not solving the problem for them. You’re guiding the conversation that helps them solve it together.

Coaching Prompt

Ask yourself:
What conversation have I been avoiding that needs to happen?

Write this down:

What’s a small issue that feels uncomfortable but unresolved?
Who on my team might be holding something back?
What’s one question I can ask to open that conversation?

Your Leadership Action

Do these:

1
Identify one tension or concern that’s been left unspoken.
2
Speak to the person involved, one-to-one.
3
Start simple. Try: “I’ve noticed something that might be worth talking about. Can we take a few minutes?”

Aim to understand first. Listen more than you speak. Most of the time, people just want to feel heard and taken seriously.

A Habit That Builds Strength

Dealing with conflict isn’t about being tough. It’s about being consistent, fair, and clear. Every time you handle an issue directly and with care, your team becomes more open, trusting, and aligned. The best teams aren’t the ones that avoid conflict. They’re the ones that know how to handle it well.